Hi friends! Today I read Numbers 31-33.
As we enter the chapter, war is breaking out, people are struggling with the choice between comfort and difficulty…and STILL God takes care of them! God tells His people to wage war against the Midianites, and even though they don’t follow His orders to the letter, God still blesses them with livestock and the ability to start new generations. Later on, the Gadites and the Reubenites insist on staying behind with their families, where it’s safe. God inspires Moses to help them get their acts together, and He blesses them again, even through the wildly long journey they were on to make it there. Wow!
The verse I’d like to share with you is Numbers 32:6-7. This is after the Gadites and Reubenites try to play the “get out of war free” card:
“Moses said to the Gadites and Reubenites, ‘Should your fellow Israelites go to war while you sit here? Why do you discourage the Israelites from crossing over into the land the Lord has given them?’”
I know that sometimes we all need that tough love, that reminder that God has great works planned for us…we need to show up and do it, even when it’s hard.
It reminds me that God wants to use me, even in my weakness. I love that God still knows I have something to give, even when I’m being a crankenstein or feel like I have nothing to give. I love being comfortable, but comfort doesn’t help me grow.
It encourages me to know that God can use me, even when I feel like the circumstances are less than ideal. Believe me, going to grad school, teaching at the college level, and planning a wedding simultaneously is no walk in the park. I’m tired, and I sometimes just don’t want to do whatever it is. I can’t let my emotions impact the help I can give other people. God wants to use me to fight in this spiritual war because I have something nobody else can offer. I am a living example of how God’s love gets our act together.
As a result of this reading, I’m going to show up, and show up confidently, even when I don’t feel confident at all. I can’t be used if I’m not present. God has given me the victory already because I have him—I have no reason to doubt or discourage myself. I have an important role to play, and I’m going to live like it (instead of living in the shadows of the imposter syndrome that loom so largely now.) I matter. What I say, what I do, and how I show up matters…because it’s all for God.
Moses rightly calls out the Gadites and the Reubenites, inspiring them to be the example and to do something brave and hard. Jesus sets an eye-opening example of doing the hard thing and showing up. It was literally uncomfortable for him to be separated from his father and tortured so intentionally. In the Garden of Gethsemane, he prays for this role to be taken away (Matthew 26:39) but he knows he needs to show up anyway. His love for us is bigger than the uncomfortability he faced.